It has been quite the ride on SyFy Channel’s epic sporting event, Robot Combat League. There have been victories and defeats, close calls and upsets, rivalries and friendships, and it’s all been leading up to this moment. The final bout of the competition tonight is between Team Steampunk with Kyle Samuelson as the tech and Ashley Nunes as the jock and underdog Team Crash with Dave Shinsel as the tech and his daughter Amber as the jock. Who will take the title? SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT! Oh, by the way, instead of three 2-minute rounds, we’re doing best three out of five.
Round one starts out looking bad for Crash as they loose one arm seconds in. This doesn’t stop them though. They continue swinging their broken arm like a makeshift flail. Steampunk does not take it laying down though and about halfway through the round they break Crash’s other arm. Now, you would think this would slow down the twelfth seeded team in the league, but it doesn’t. Instead, they keep swinging their broken arms and break a torso actuator on Steampunk, shutting the robot down and giving Crash the ability to just beat the crap out of their opponent. Crash takes the round.
In round two, both robots return fully repaired and meet in the center of the ring. Each starts swinging and again, one of Crash’s arms gets broken. Still, the father/daughter team fights on and while they didn’t do any major damage this round, they did knock off some of Steampunk’s armor. Both teams attack relentlessly though and after a close judge’s decision, Crash wins another round. And now that a team has won two rounds, not only is Crash poised to win the match, but they have saws now too.
Round three is completely off the charts. Weapons attached to both robots, the buzzer sounds and the carnage begins. Crash, down an arm, is still using it like a mace on the midsection of Steampunk and swinging their weapon toward the outside. Steampunk on the other hand seems to let their regular arm hang while they use the weapon arm to jab at the midsection of Crash. Towards the end of the round, Crash breaks its weapon arm’s wrist and looses the weapon. By three points, round three goes to Steampunk. However, Crash only needs one more round to win.
Due to time issues during the repair phase between rounds, the fourth brings Crash out without an arm. And we mean without a hand at all. This doesn’t slow Crash down anymore than any other shortcoming has before and they come out swinging. About a minute into the round, Steampunk’s foot catches fire and the round has to be paused to put it out. Then, as the robot’s duke it out, they get all twisted around and the round must be paused again to reposition them. And seconds after they start swinging again, Crash loses its only arm. The buzzer sounds to stop the fight and the round is given to Steampunk by a mere two points.
It’s the fifth and final round, anyone’s game now. With all the problems Crash is having now, we think they will have to score a KO to win. Steampunk, we believe, only needs to land tons of punches. Luckily, Crash is returning with both hands when the final round starts. With $100,000 and the title on the line, both teams attack viciously. Sparks fly, smoke fills the ring, and the crowd screams like ancient Romans at the Colosseum watching gladiators duel. Crash’s arm breaks again. Clanging to the concrete floor is Steampunk’s hand, but they keep going. Swinging their broken arm like a mace sends Crash’s hand flying across the ring. And the final round goes the distance. By three points, the champions of the first Robot Combat League are Amber and Dave Shinsel, Team Crash who started out in absolute last place when the tournament began.
This was an absolutely amazing fight that should not have been missed by anyone. And this series has given us plenty of hopes. For starters, we hope that we will see a season two. Beyond that, we hope to see the sport of fighting giant freaking robots becomes a new professional sport. We’d like to think of it as NASCAR for people that feel like seeing something actually happen. Regardless, this show has a little something for geek and jock alike and we are pleased that SyFy brought it to us. This episode and the entire series gets